BOWOWOWEE

matatapos na 2008 ngayon lang ako magpopost!!!

2008-09-13T15:24:00.002+08:00

eh sa ngayon ko lang naisipan eh :)

besides, i don't think anyone reads stuff in here :)

but anyhow anywho, natuwa lang kasi ako sa website na ito: http://www.joshhosler.biz/NumberOneInHistory/SelectMonth.htm

ipapakita nya sa iyo ang #1 song sa US Billboard the previous years tuwing bday mo. Nostalgic. And funny kasi parang "tangna tanda na pala ng kantang yun."

here are some of the songs (na familiar ako) that made #1 noong bday ko:

2007 ... "Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon5 (practically the only song I liked from the band).
2005 ... "We Belong Together" by Mariah Carey
2003 ... "21 Questions" by 50 Cent featuring Nate Dogg (I remember nung 1st year college ako, kinakanta ko ito na "Girlllll... Would you love me if i waz dawwwnnnn... annndd aaawwwttt...")
2001 ... "Lady Marmalade" by Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Mya & Pink
2000 ... "Maria Maria" by Santana featuring The Product G&B

1999 ... "Livin' La Vida Loca" by Ricky Martin (kapanahunan nung sikat pa sya)
1998 ... "The Boy Is Mine" by Brandy & Monica
1997 ... "MMMBop" by Hanson (oh gahd this is a classic!)
1996 ... "Tha Crossroads" by Bone thugs-n-harmony (in fairness even hiphop kids nowadays still play this song; first song that got me interested in rap)
1995 ... "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman?" by Bryan Adams
1994 ... "I Swear" by All-4-One (HETO ANG PAMATAY!)
1993 ... "That's the Way Love Goes" by Janet Jackson
1992 ... "Jump" by Kris Kross (I remember this music vid!!!)

1982 ... "Ebony and Ivory" by Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder
1980 ... "Funkytown" by Lipps, Inc.

1979 ... "Hot Stuff" by Donna Summer

1969 ... "Get Back" by The Beatles
1968 ... "Mrs. Robinson" by Simon & Garfunkel
1967 ... "Respect" by Aretha Franklin
1963 ... "It's My Party" by Lesley Gore

1958 ... "All I Have to Do Is Dream" by The Everly Brothers
1956 ... "Heartbreak Hotel" by Elvis Presley
1953 ... "The Song from Moulin Rouge (Where Is Your Heart)" by Percy Faith (I actually don't know this song but funny lang na 2 Moulin Rouge songs made it #1 on my birthday)

IM ON A HENTAI SITE!!!

2007-06-29T15:13:00.001+08:00

seryoso!!!

http://www.hentaimax.emulacao.com.br/

then Ctrl+F nyo then type RAFAEL FENIX.

Makikita nyo pangalan ko sa hentai site na yan.

I haven't been to a hentai site for years now so... shit! :D Could this be a calling? :D wehehehe

so far so good

2007-06-24T16:03:00.000+08:00

wasak!

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I've been struggling with an ingrown toenail for the past 2weeks now. It's been less than a year since I last had one - my very first one, and it was about the time I created this blog. An outlet from all the ispokening enlish I do in the office everyday. A realm or a world where I am the ever so great writer and all my works get published. My space (cyberspace) for ego.

Last year I had an ingrown toenail and doctors had to operate on it and take out half of my nail --- literally. I was practically walking with only half a nail on my right toe throughout eight months. The problem is the fucking other half grew back to its original form, and I have to have it taken out --- again! Putangna!

Friends keep bugging me "Ipapedicure mo yan!" I'm having doubts about the pedicure stuff because 1.) the nail keeps growing bacl, which also means I have to have my feet pedicured every fucking month. 2.) It doesn't always hurt, only like once a day, and I think it's starting to have puss so nailcutters aren't exactly my ideal weapon for puss and 3.) going to a parlor to have a pedicure is FUCKING gay.

Pagninilay-nilayan ko and within this week I will post an update.

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I went to UST yesterday and dropped by the Flame office. I actually went there few days back and got myself a copy of Dapitan 4 and Dapitan Prose (yes people! the long lost manuscripts of Dapitan Prose have been discovered and published!). Not too many changes in the place --- makalat pa rin Flame office, still a noisy place, and mukhang basag pa rin mga tao. But I swear I fucking love that place. I try to visit Flame as often as I could, even if I don't feel as welcome anymore (hell, I'm no longer a student and I never really proved my writing worth anyhow). I don't recognize most people there, 'cept for a handful who are still there but won't be in the near future. I just stayed there, basking on the airconditioning and the sounds.

Read some articles in the past flame issues and tried to read a few of the things published in the two Dapitans. At the back of the Dapitan Prose issue in the acknowledgements after everyone had been named it stated something about thanking those whom they've forgot to mention but had been there for support. I tried to comfort myself with the thought that hopefully I was one of those they forgot to mention, only that Dapitan Prose was initially made way before I ever heard of the Flame. So bummer.

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Then Mervin, Ron, Jen and I went to Kittens for a couple of hours of tapsilog and beer. The place was half demolished; it's been years since we first heard that the place was going to be converted to a building / dormitory / apartment of sorts, and slowly we saw the changes and Manang said in three days she will be leaving and the place would be totally gone. Sad. Kittens was a big part of my life, and the lives of most Flamers and TUNOrG and TWG fellows. Most of our memorable UST days were spent in that orange hole in a wall. We laughed, cried, sang songs, talked, celebrated, mourned, got reprimanded and a couple were even detained by baranggay tanods and officials in that place --- all while hellaciously drunk. Someone once said even the late great Nick Joaquin was there. But never did any of us try to substitute Kittens for another place as TWG's home.

Yesterday as we were there the large ice box were all the beer was kept was gone. Manang placed the remaining beer she had inside the refrigerator together with the cokes and the c2's. She didn't even had rice in the kalan anymore. She had to buy rice in the carinderia across for our tapsilog orders.

We will miss you Manang. Take care in Pangasinan and thank you for Kittens.

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Last night we also went to Fete dela Musique --- a major music festival initially sponsored by the French embassy but now has become an annual mainstream concert thingie. This year instead of putting together different bands and different artists of different music genres on one stage, they decided to put different bands and different artists of different music genres on different stages. The World Music (A.K.A. mainstream) was set at Plaza Rajah Sulayman, Rock Music was placed behind it at the Remedios Circle, and nearby it is Rap/RNB stage along Adriatico street (near CommonGround --- where else?) and far as I know they also had some Bossa Nova stage somewhere. Hindi ko na napuntahan.

Not as much crowd as I anticipated, and most of the crowd were bagets and teenagers (late highschool to early college people) trying to party under the rain.

Nakakainis. We stayed by the Rock stage thinking this was were Radioactive Sago Project was going to perform. They were at the World Music stage pala ("World Music na pala ang Sago?" --- Merv). We only found out because Merv heard Sago's last song when we decided to buy drinks at 7-11, which was nearer to the World Music stage ("Sabi ni Eric dun daw Sago eh!" --- Ron). Sayang we didn't know ("Sabagay nakalagay sa Philippine Star kasama ng Sago yung Hale and other bands." --- ako!)

Since I had no sleep since 2am and it was already about 10pm I said my goodbyes just when Greyhoundz were finishing their last songs.

THIS JUST IN

2007-05-08T18:21:00.000+08:00

update regarding the "Rafael Fenix" long lost brotherhood.

I checked on Yahoo! and it turns out that there is another Rafael Fenix from Spain, whose birthday falls on March 11, 1983 (reference http://66.218.71.231/language/translation/translatedPage.php?tt=url&text=http%3a//groups.msn.com/Spica2/aniversrios.msnw&lp=pt_en&.intl=us&fr=yfp-t-501 for the translated page or simply http://groups.msn.com/Spica2/aniversrios.msnw for the spanish version.) Ü

I feel like I'm in being John Malkovich Ü

may nagpapanggap!!!

2007-05-08T17:38:00.000+08:00

there is a phony out there by the name of rafael fenix!!!

please refer to the website http://www.diasporagames.com/heroesrpg/list.html.

for some weird reason i decided to type the phrase "RAFAEL FENIX" in the google tab to see if somebody is mentioning me in the web without my knowledge. First few links referred to some hispanic webpages, and they used the two names seperately. Okay, no biggie.

Saw links to Ned Parfan and Sandy Miguel's blog --- two upcoming writers from out batch in the Thomasian Writers Guild. No biggie.

Then it came up. Some online RPG named heroes has a character named RAFAEL FENIX living in Las Vegas, NV. Fuck!!!

Putangna I thought my name was unique.

No biggie, really; it's not the end of the world kapag may kapangalan ka sa mundong ito. Itanong natin sa isandamukal na John Santos o Reyes o dela Cruz or whatnot. Sa dami ng population natin AND sa dami ng taong nabuhay sa mundong ito it's really too slim of a chance na wala kang kapangalan sa mundo.

Akala ko lang kasi, in the two decades of my existence, isa ako sa "slim chances" na yun.

I wasn't able to find anything in friendster by the name of Rafael Fenix. heck, I saw the name on a gaming site. Hence this must be a kid. And kids normally don't place their real names in friendster. the put something like

*TOOCOOL*

"m@st@hfuhck@h#69"

or some other forms of vandal expression they think identifies their mediocrity.

Now questions of his identity comes into mind: who is he? where does he live? which school did he go to? How is he as a person?

And questions of MY identity come into mind: How different am i from this person?

nakakaaliw Ü it's like making a case study. The case of the Rafael Fenix's. Ü

pressured

2007-04-24T13:32:00.000+08:00

tangina bigla ako napressure gumawa ng post!!!

I haven't "blogged" for quite some time now... personal reasons... I thought it was pathetic for me to post stuff in here which are irrelevant to read... I posted things here simply because I cannot get my work published in any other place. Kaya sa blog na lang. My own little haven for my ego. My solace.

Eh putangina kahit ako ayoko basahin mga pinagpopopost ko dito eh!!!

so I stopped... Ocassionally pag tumatambay ako sa Starbucks bigla ko kukunin yung magic green notebook ko and write and write and waste pages just to place my thoughts in... a ruddy excuse just so I can make pacute to those hanging there (recommended place: Starbucks Discovery Suites, sa may Ortigas. Wala halos tao, madami pa sa mga pumupunta mga cutie na Koreana!) Ü

So anyhow I suddenly got pressured...

This bloke friend of mine, NED PARFAN, who is making a name for himself as a good blog writer and reviewer of sorts, must be renovating his page right now since when I went to his blog (drag-on-fly.blogspot.com), none of his posts are showing up. I'm sure Ned will have something nice to show us when I see his blog again.

Then Bam. I noticed a change which I was so fucking sure na wala sa page nya before.

HE PLACED MY PAGE SA LINKS NYA!!!

Oh fucking God. Slowly for the past months I've been trying to get over the fact that I am not a writer, that my experience and training is not enough for those BIG people to teach me, that I am simply wasting my time and space and kilobytes in the internet posting senseless stuff that for all I know only less than 5 people have read in it's existence, then Ned places my page in the links!

Which means that I am now susceptible (yes tama spelling!!! hindi nag red underline!!!) to other surfers na trip lang mag-click at mag-click ng mga links sa blog ng iba.

No offense Neddybear. thanks sa pag-post ng link sa blog ko but... I don't know... I guess since never pa na post pangalan ko sa site ng kung sino suddenly i felt the urgency to make it more... presentable...

(At this very moment I can hear writers screaming at me: EH TANGINA KA NAMAN PALA EH!!! SINCE KELAN KA BA NAGSULAT PARA PASAYAHIN ANG AUDIENCE?!!! SINCE KELAN BA NAGSULAT ANG TUNAY NA MANUNULAT TO PLEASE AN AUDIENCE?!!!)

I'm not sure... I never believed that writers never please their audience... they still do... even if the audience are themselves alone... Whenever a writer writes, he dreams of seeing it on the layout and ready to be printed. and writes what he wants to see there.

Basta I suddenly felt so... unaccomplished. Incomplete. Para bang wala akong natapos.

And now I just need to write something.

nyeh

2007-01-22T03:31:00.000+08:00

tagal ko na rin pala hindi nagboblog...

1month mahigit na rin pala...

oh well... time to pick up where i last left off...

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Just finished the entire course of training at Convergys. Which now means that I'm a certified Advisor in the OnStar account. Two gruelling weeks of Communications and Culture Training ("pronounce button as 'Butt-n'! Pete's niece! niece as in 'knees!'" Oh my God the lessons of Blanche Lapez and Ed Katigbak are still ringing at the back of my head!) then a month of Product Specific Training (the gorgeous Lae Profugo says the word "sometimes" almost as many times as one of the Tulfo brothers cursed in front of the camera.) Then a week of Academy Bay. Boom.

I've been assigned to the Provisioning Department of OnStar. It's the first step if an American who has a GM Car (Chevrolet, Subaru, Saab, etc) wants to enroll in OnStar. It's more like an installations department, with almost no sales quota (which also means no commission, gaddamet). Sales, which I have been adept to, is somewhat like only for your boss to stop nagging you. But selling is fun, so a co-employee named Kristian (an ex-seminarian who literally squeezes a bottle of beer when he's drunk just to see if there are still contents left) made a motto.

"TATANGGALAN NAMIN NG TRABAHO ANG INBOUND SALES DEPARTMENT!!! WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

PARANOIA

2006-12-03T00:14:00.000+08:00

*ORIGINALLY WRITTEN LAST NOV. 29, 2006)

This is probably one of my most paranoid days of my life ever.

Earlier today I looked back at my life and started thinking of what happened from the time I graduated high school, thru my college and working life, etc. it’s funny coz I was in my room talking to myself, as in literally talking to myself. Nagsasalita ako ng mag-isa. Walang kausap. And though talking to myself isn’t an uncommon thing (I do it at least once a day), I usually make sure that I talk with no words coming out of my mouth. Meaning I spell out the words with my mouth without making any sound, that way I can get the feel of having a conversation. OR if I do make sounds it’s not something you will hear if you’re outside the room.

But today I talked with my regular voice. With my normal conversational voice. I chatted with myself.

I’m wondering now if this is one step towards insanity. Or at least schizophrenia.

But that’s not all. I talked to myself about how I did, basically as a person in all aspects. How I tried to be the omni-student; the all around, all powerful, all knowing student in UST. How I really reacted to the financial crisis the family faced. How it really went when I didn’t go to class everyday and lost interest. How I started looking for ways to survive. I spoke about facts. Of not what I thought but what I did. And how it all resulted into what I am now.

And then, later in the afternoon, after eating lunch with a really depressed heart because of, well, “testing my conscience”, as the Catholic Doctrine would define it, I slept. And I woke up late, and I almost became late for work. I was forced to take a cab, despite of my P70 budget for the whole week, and because I was in a hurry I left my ID at home.

Paranoia #2 struck again. What if I was late? Would I get fired? What if the HR and the guards caught me walking around the office without an ID? Would I get fired? And since I spent P50 in cab, how the heck am I going to survive the next week with P20?

To get by with an empty stomach, I drank 3 cups of coffee (or more, I think) coz coffee beans and the wheat from the creamer is a good substitute, though coffee always made me feel puking. I wasn’t late, but the guards DID catch me without an ID. I had to go on cahoots with my other officemates to pretend that I just left my ID in the training room.

Now the day has ended. I’m now home. But still something is bothering me. It could be the caffeine from the coffee, though before that I must have eaten 6 mini bars of KitKat and a whole bar of KitKat whit, which should increase that happy hormone thing, but something is bugging me.

And I don’t know what.

I wish a dwende would just bite me now for inspiration to write. Not just this post but a short story.

BATISTA IS CHAMP

2006-11-27T20:02:00.000+08:00

THE KING IS BACK ON HIS THRONE!!!

DAVE

"THE ANIMAL"

BATISTA

IS ONCE AGAIN

WORLD

HEAVYWEIGHT

CHAMPION!!!

NOVEMBER PAIN (PART 5 OF 5)

2006-11-22T01:20:00.000+08:00

Hindi ako todo blast nung sa interview ko sa ACS kaya malamang sinabihan ako ng "well call you."

Balik eskwela the next day. May masamang balita:

na-dissolve ang isang class ko at na move ang isa. So 3 na lang subjects ko, magkakalayo pa. amputa. Conflict ito pag nagtrabaho ako.

I was thinking of adding more units and going full time. Tinext ko nanay at ate ko. Go daw. Buti pa daw mag-aral na lang daw ako. Tinanong ko pano finances, pano tuition, pano Meralco at tubig if wala akong trabaho. They were offering solutions na hindi ako sang-ayon.

Sabi ko sa sarili ko, the moment na makahanap ako ng trabaho, I will quit school if there's a conflict.

Priority ko ang pamilya ko.

So the next day punta ako Sutherland. Apply tayo.

Ay anak ng jueteng 10am ako nakarating dun. 3pm na hindi pa ako iniinterview!!! 5hours straight promise pare. 5 hours kami nakatunganga trying to be poised. Hindi pa ako naglulunch. mga kasama ko di pa nagbebreakfast. Tangna.

Then nung ininterview na kami I found out why: iisang babae lang ang gumagawa ng interview sa LAAAAHHHHHAAAAAATTTTT ng applicants! tangna! and if I heard her right, yung shift niya started at 12am! 12 mindnight! putangina! 3pm na niya ako nainterview! tangna 15hours straight na siya nagtatrabaho!

heto pa ang superpanalo: after the interview, exam daw. Tapos may lumabas na tiga-HR. Down daw ang server nila. Hindi sila makakapag-administer ng exam. balik daw bukas mga 4pm lahat ng scheduled for exam.

Out of instinct, pagkalabas ko ng building, naglakad ako papuntang convergys.

Pumasok.

Nag-apply.

Ininterview.

Ininterview ulit.

nakapag-exam na ako dati pero ipapag-exam ulit ako the next day but before I took the exam nilahad na sa kin lahat; sweldo, account, contracts, everything. I entered convergys before 5pm; I left the building at 8pm with a promise of a job.

I started today, Tuesday, November 21.

NOVEMBER PAIN (PART 4 OF 5)

2006-11-22T01:06:00.000+08:00

KAPAG IKA'Y NAWALANG NG TRABAHO...

EH DI MAG-JOB HUNTING!!!

First stop: isang maliit na kumpanya ang naghahanap ng staff writer sa Salcedo Village, Makati.

Ayos. Kahit maliit lang sweldo, at least Makati. And at least interes ko ang magsulat.

Sumakay ako ng taxi para hindi maligaw. Lumiko kami sa LP Leviste St at hinanap yung Champaca Bldg. eh nasa corner lang pala siya nung lumiko kami at maliit lang sign niya kaya di ko nakita. Nung pagdating namin sa dulo bumaba na ako at naglakad pabalik. Ayun. Nakita ko rin.

Interview. 2 kaming nagaantay. Ako at isang applikante bilang videographer.

Ayos ito, sabi ko. Baka multimedia firm or ad agency.

Pagpasok ko sa loob, ininterview ako ng secretary / front desk na girl. The usual: tell me something about yourself, how long have you been working, etc etc etc. the usual HR questions. then the bomb dropped.

"Komportable ka ba magsulat ng mga adult materials? Kasi we are a publication that caters to an adult audience. Mga articles namin yung para sa FHM, mga sensual, parang ganoon... pero sa abroad pinupublish..."

Whoa. Adult material being exported?

Exam. May pic ng babae at lalaki na nakahubad. Buhat buhat ni lalaki si babae. walang pinapakitang malaswa.

Ang title at topic: SOMETHING REAL (AN ESSAY ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY).

Tangna napapakamot na ako ng ulo a.

Nakita ko yung "production floor" nila. Mukhang call center bay. about 30-something na tao nakaharap sa computer, may suot na headset and typing. later may naririnig ako about yung SOHO Hotel daw sa makati.

Tinapos ko ang essay ko (i wrote about homosexuality and sensuality in the philosophical sense; mejo divine ang essay ko) at lumayas. tangna magiging porn writer pa yata ako.

So back to the call center list.

Pinaka-malapit na call center from the office na pinanggalingan ko: ACS.

Sabi sa akin mayroong 2 call centers in makati na parehong pangalan ay ACS. Advanced Contact Solutions sa RCBC Tower at may isa pa na sa may parang brown na building naka-base. Ayoko sa ACS at mayroong MCI account dun. kagagaling ko lang sa MCI na account at kailangan ko maghanap ng iba pang account. so pumunta ako sa ACS na brown na building, thinking that it's the one w/o the MCI account.

nagkamali ako. yung brown the building yung Advanced Contact Solutions. Yung may MCI account. yung iniiwasan ko. Next in line na ako sa interview nung malaman ko.

Tangama too late. Ituloy na natin ang pagaapply.

NOVEMBER PAIN (PART 3 OF 5)

2006-11-22T00:51:00.000+08:00

Sa panahon na napuputangina ka buong mundo, tao ka lang at kakailanganin mo ng karamay.

Habang naglalakad papunta sa paradahan ng taxi naramdaman ko nagvibrate ang cell ko.

Miss call.

Hindi ko kilalang number.

Globe.

Biglang may nagtext.

"Rafa this is me-ann. Are you okay? What happened? Do you need someone to talk to? My lunchbreak is at 3am. Let's talk..." and something to that effect.

PUTANGINA. Iiwan-iwanan mo ako tapos ngayon your acting all concerned? Tangina.

Pero shempre d ko tinext un. kaya ang text ko sa kanya ay "..."

reply si gaga. "I just feel like you need someone right now... I'm here... I owe you at least that..."

DOUBLE PUTANGINA. I owe you at least that? So she's trying to be concerned out of utang na loob? anakngpanisnakaninnganamanoo...

So dumerecho ako ng UST at kasama si KC (hindi ko sya pinatulog hanggang magkaroon na ng araw) ay nilunod namin ang mga sarili namin sa iced tea. Funny. mga 10mins lang namin pinagusapan ang pagkatanggal ko sa trabaho. Tungkol sa pagsusulat, pilosopiya sa buhay, pagka-bitter niya sa kanyang ex at ang panlalandi niya sa isang bagong prospect. Ü

Pagkauwi ko ng bahay: "Tangna I need my resume."

NOVEMBER PAIN (PART 2 OF 5)

2006-11-22T00:27:00.000+08:00

2nd week

Monday. November 13. Meron bang Monday the 13th?
3am pa ang shift ko ng Tuesday pero pumunta ako ng Monday ng 10pm dahil alam ko na nga ang hinaharap ko. Tangna. Matatanggal ako sa trabaho.
Pagdating ko ng opisina wala ang mga bossing ko. Meeting. Ayos. Tambay muna me.
Tinanong ng mga ka-team ko kung ano nangyari. Final na daw ba ang desisyon. Sabi ko ewan ko.
10:30 lumabas sila from the conference room. Si Cynthia, one of the supervisors na hindi ko naman ka-close pero araw-araw ko niyayakap ang hinahalikan para lang ma-tsansingan ay bigla akong niyakap na mahigpit. "Raaaaaffffaaaa!!!!" she screamed, sabay bulong, "Mamimiss kita."
Si Donnie, yung baguhan kong boss na ang unang taong iteterminate ay ako, nakipagkamayan sakin.
Si Sims, yung dating Quality Control Supervisor ng segment namin, bigla ako kinausap ukol sa kaso ko, sa plano ko. Bigla kinuha cellphone number ko. Eh tangna babae lang pinaguusapan namin nun biglang naging concerned at kinamayan ako! Ü
SUPERPANALOMOMENT: Si Me-Ann. Ex girlfriend ko na supervisor na. Nakasalubong ko. Sabi lang sakin, "Hi Rafa" sabay alis. anaknganamantalagangtokwaoo.
Nilapitan ko na yung manager na si Ron.
"So Ron, do I need to sign anything?"
He gives me a poker-faced look (Ron is an Amboy; bald, baby-faced, earring on the left ear and all.) "Sign anything for what?"
"My escalation. The newest one."
Trying to be pokerfaced-pero-nagsalubong-na-ang-kilay-look. "How'd you know about it?"
I laughed. "Dude, I was here last Saturday. I know where I stand."
Buntong-hininga na sapilitan lang. "I have to talk to Jill about it." (Jill is the Senior Manager, the Head Honcho, the Principal.)
Tangna, ilalaban pa ako nitong mokong na ito. "So I just wait?"
"yeah."
Para naman I could show that I appreciate his efforts, I offered to pay-off yung utang ko sa kanya na Starbucks (natalo ako sa pustahan). "By the way, I'm going down. Mocha Frappe?"
He blinks his eyes a couple of times and smiles. "Nah. I had 4 cups of coffee already." Tado.
So nagpunta me sa malapit na netshop at nanood ng YouTube for about 2hrs.
1:30am.
Balik sa opisina habang tumutugtog ang "3 Stars and a Sun" ni Francis M sa utak ko.
Lahat ng tao: "O Rafa ano nangyari?" "Rafa final na ba?" "Kinausap mo na?" "Hayaan mo yang mga yan; makakarma rin yan." "Tangna 'tol ingat ka."
Finally narinig ko ang hatol.
RON: Rafa! Follow me.
pumunta kami sa VA Lab (isang maliit na opisina na pwede gamiting ng kahit sino man for confidential conversations.)
*buntong-hininga* Rafa, tell me what happened... *makikinig sa explanation ko about kung paano nag-progress ang mga escalations ko.* When I entered the sales segment, I said that I was gonna bring it to number one, and now, it's gonna be too hard if you're not around *buntong-hininga ulit* Oh man this is hard *buntong-hininga ulit* Rafa, your employment with this company has been ended effective immediately... We actually filed a dispute on your case, but it wasn't granted so... Yeah, sign here... I'm gonna have to ask you to get your things and exit the premises immediately... Yeah sure you can get your stuff from the locker in a week or two... *buntong-hininga habang I was telling him na "Look man, you did what you could do. It's okay. I know what happened and I know where I stand. I thank you for going that far. i guess it's just time..."* Thanks... you're actually making this easier for me... I know with your skill and talent you'll go farther elsewhere... Hope I get to work with you again somplace... Take care man. *buntong-hininga ulit tapos tayayo*
Lakad derecho. Kunin ang bag. Hawakan sa balikat lahat ng kakilala at ibulong ang salitang "Salamat". Yumakap kay Me-Ann one last time. Wag pumansin ng kahit sinong tao habang palakad papuntang elevator. At umalis ng building. Sumakay ng taxi.
Paalam, CLG.

NOVEMBER PAIN (PART 1 OF 5)

2006-11-22T00:02:00.000+08:00

it's been a crazy month for me so far...

FIRST WEEK:

It's enrollment time once again, and after about a week or two of stable sleep and lesser pressure, I braced myself once again for another semester of headaches. Of meeting deadlines. Of writing reports for professors who can't even speak English or Filipino straight. Of listening to lectures of people who don't take in to their hearts of what they're teaching and are just in for the job to pay their bills. Of traffic and schedules. Naknampucha, working student na naman ulit ako.

Heto na naman po ang mahabang pila. Ang mga classes at skeds na nakapaskil as "Open" and "Available" na biglang nadissolved pala. Ang pagpila sa kulang-sa-ventilation na lobby para magbayad. Ang maghanap ng pambayad.

I got off work before lunchtime and I went to Adamson on Nov 9, Thursday to enroll. Syempre pangalawang sem ko pa lang sa Adamson and wala naman talaga akong barkada or peer group doon, at hindi ko pa nakuha na tumambay lang around the campus, hindi ko alam ang enrollment procedures. Sabi ng babae sa gate kailangan daw naka-uniform. Pinauwi ako. Pakshet.

Friday. November 10. Bumalik ako sa Adamson wearing my complete uniform around 2pm. Last day of enrollment na kaya pinapapasok na nila ang mga hindi naka uniform at naghahabol. anaknganamanngtinapa.

Pumunta ako sa cashier's office to pay my previous balance. Ayos. 5minutes tapos na ako.

Next is registration for the next sem. Dahil nagbayad ako for the last sem hindi naging sapat ang budget ko for the upcoming sem. Pwede daw promissory note. Kausapin ko lang muna ang Finance Head.

No problem sana, kaso nasa meeting pa ng mga administrators ang Finance Head at mayroong at least 15 people inside the office naka pila para kausapin siya about promissory notes. Wala pa yan sa pila sa labas. Sabi ng stressed-pero-trying-to-be-poised na secretary na sulatan ko daw yung promissory note form at balik-balikan ko na lang. The time then was 2:30.

kumuha na ako ng list of subjects na pwede ko kunin. Sabi ko since nagpalipat ako sa ibang schedule I can take up more units. Kaso lahat ng units na kailangan ko pang-gabi. Hindi ako pwede mag-aral sa gabi dahil may pasok ako sa trabaho. So back to 4 subjects lang ako. Pwede na.

Bumalik ako ng 3pm. Hindi pa nakakabalik yung Administrator. Naghintay lang ako sa pila for about 40mins. Finally dumating yung Finance Head, kinuha lahat ng promissory note forms at pinirmahan isa-isa. it took her 5 minutes para pirmahan ang form ko and it took me almost an hour just to wait.

At heto na ang patakbo-takbo, from the Department's Head office para magpa-approve ng sked to pagpunta sa encoding para magparegister and sa cashier's ulit para magbayad. 5:20 natapos ako. Yes. Enrolled ako.

November 11. Saturday. Pumasok ako sa office. Ayos ang opisina pagpasok ko. 2 teams ang dapat maglo-login. Team 1 was logged in but wala yung Coach nila. Naka-leave. Team 2 kami. Kakapromote pa lang less than a week ng bago naming Coach. At sa unang weekend niya sa office, 2teams kagad ang papangunahan niya. Panalo.

Heto pa: Down nanaman ang server!!! Putangina might as well patayin na lang namin ang computer dahil scheduled na buong araw down ang server.

Superpanalopoints#3: Tinignan ko ang monitors. May bago akong monitor na pumasok. Tier Escalation na naman. Pang-lima na. Sa industriya namin sa call center, Tier Escalation means that you did something really really really stupid. And I did. Hindi ko nasabi lahat ng kailangan ko sabihin. One time it's verbal warning, 2times it's written, 3times it's final written. Fourth is termination. Panglima ko na yata yun dahil dinidispute pa yung pang-apat ko. Ayun. Filed for termination na ako.

AT dahil wala ang management kapag weekdays kakausapin daw ako ng manager namin ng Monday. In the meantime mag-login daw muna ako. Tangna. Login eh sisisantihin na rin naman ako.

Minabuti ko na magpaalam sa mga ka-team ko that day. I tried to keep it para hindi makaapekto sa trabaho nila pero nalabas ko rin nung naglalabas na ng sentimiento ukol sa kumpanya. Kaya yun. Namaalam na ako at nilinis ko na ang lamesa ko.

************************************************************************************

here we go again

2006-11-21T23:56:00.000+08:00

BABALA: BICKERING LANG ITONG POST NA ITO

Heto na naman po tayo.

11:49pm. Tuesday.

Matagal na naman ako hindi nagsusulat ng kahit anong uri ng panitikan at matagal na naman ako hindi kinakagat ng duwende para sa inspirasyon para makapagsulat.

Kaya ito. Random thoughts lang.

Magulo.

Walang structure.

Walang organization.

Basahin niyo na lang kung wala kayong mabasa and you want something relaxing Ü

************************************************************************************

Right now sa tabi ko mayroong hottie (well, not really but if you're looking for a one time fling or fuck, papasa na rin. ansarap ibulong "Hoy Miss! paki-blowjob mo nga ako dito!") na nakikipagchat sa mukhang dating website yata. Behind me is someone talking over netphone. Malakas siya magsalita so I really can't help na wag marinig ang pinaguusapan nila. Mukhang may foreigner friend / acquaintance siya na may interes na pumunta ng Pilipinas either for vacation or business venture or both.

And heto ako.

************************************************************************************

THE IDENTITY OF THIS GENERATION THRU IT'S MUSIC

2006-10-25T21:25:00.000+08:00

Earlier I was watching this contest on MTV, sponsored by Colt45. It was a contest on the next rock star. Parang American Idol pero pang rock star ang hinahanap nila.

Contestants were selected from all over the Philippines (I believe 12 contestants yata; 9 male and 3 female). Superpanalotothemaxasin yung judges. Si Zach ng Imaga, si Lourd ng Radioactive Sago Project, the girl from Put3ska (for some reason lagi ko nakakalimutan pangalan nya; I always refer to her as Mia but I know it's not her name because time and time again ico-correct ako ng mga kaibigan ko). Raymund Marasigan ang host and shempre Sandwhich ang backup band.

Good. So at least the people working for that contest know what they are doing. At least hindi nila kinuha ang isang pa-cute para sa project (*uboRicoBlancoubo!*)

The show itself was... well... average. Though they got probably the best of the best of the judges and host, the contestants themselves were average performers. May guy doon na dinadaan sa lakas ng boses yung performance. Meron din na parang epileptic kung gumalaw, hindi suave. Kasasabi lang ni Lourd na wala sa lakas ng boses or sa antics na ginagawa mo sa stage yung energy element ng isang rock star; it's innate. Sometimes nga daw nakatayo lang walang ginagawa pero you feel the energy flowing thru him. Tapos meron kang weirdo contestants. labo.

Pero to criticize the show isn't what this blog post is for. Meron silang exercise where they had to perform in front of the judges either of the following songs:

1.) Beep Beep by Juan dela Cruz Band, dahil sabi ni Marasigan ito daw yung kanta na naging battlecry ng mga manggagawa o ng labor force ng Pilipinas noong Martial Law.

2.) Mangarap ka by AfterImage, dahil daw ito ang awit ng 80's people. Heto daw yung nagdedefine sa 80's Filipino Youth. May pangarap. May ambisyon. May gustong maabot.

3.) Awit ng Kabataan by Rivermaya. Dahil daw ito daw ang para sa 90's generation. Ito daw yung battlecry ng 90's Filipino Youth: na despite of all the hype and all of the changes that's happening that's getting the adults worried, may pagasa pa ang Pilipinas with the 90's generation.

That made me think. Ano kaya ang awit ng Millenium Generation? Those who grew from 2000 onwards?

Bamboo played the opening number sa contest na yun. Could Noypi be it? Strong contender; everybody loved Noypi, from the intellectual youth because the lyrics spoke of truth and of culture; to the conyo youth, because it had the spunk of a rebel, which is one thing they are trying so hard to get; to the masses, because it spoke of them as the Pinoys; and even the others.

Last year because of the TV sensation Pinoy Big Brother almost every radio played the song of Orange and Lemons. Now that I think about it, I'm really not sure what the title was but it's the one with the chorus "Pinoy ako, Pinoy tayo..." Again, the declaration of identity.

And who can ever forget our very own Allan Pineda from the Black Eyed Peas, who with his songs Bebot and the Apl Song tell the story of a probinsyano who went abroad to make a living but has not forgotten where he came from. The Apl song, as it stated in the beginning, is a tribute to the Filipinos. Pineda said that everyone tells the story of their ghetto, of where they came from and the beauty of the culture they grew up in. So it was his story to tell. Bebot on the other hand was a celebration of Filipinos Filipinoness: it became a sacntuary song for the generation of hiphoppers who before have been branded as copycats of the western hiphop culture. It's a testament of what, despite of the borrowed or shared influence of American rap music, the Filipino identity is.

For several months Kamikazee's NARDA reigned MTV and MYX and radio stations hit charts. Could Narda be it? It's a love song. The voice of the song is supposedly in love with someone whom he couldn't even fathom to reach. It can be, simply because Filipinos are sentimental shmucks.

And let's not forget that recently they've been doing tributes and various artists collaborate to pay homage to those who paved way for the development of the music. Ultraelectromagneticjam gives thanks to the Eraserheads, dubbed as probably the greatest band that ever existed; Kami NAPO Muna is a tribute to the Apo Hiking Society. (I know there are also tributes to The Hotdogs and the Juan dela Cruz Band, but my mind can't really think of the name right now.) At last year's MTV awards some artists also joined together and performed old Gary V songs because he received a lifetime achievement award. Putangina, lumaban nga sa Cinemalaya yung Tulad ng Dati, isang tribute sa The Dawn eh!

Andami dami ng banda these days pero still wala pang iisang kanta na nagdedefine sa kultura ng makabagong henerasyon. Pwede tayo magturo: we can blame it on all the artists na ni hindi gumawa ng sariling kanta; we can blame it sa isang apathetic audience. Palibhasa wala na rin identity ang masa.

ang pinakatangang krimen sa lahat

2006-10-25T21:03:00.000+08:00

para sa akin (para sa akin lang ha; hindi ito general truth or batas) eh ang paglabag sa intellectual property rights ang pinaka-tangang krimen sa lahat. Ang mga lumalabag nito ay pathetic. Kung pulis ako mas matatanggap ko pa yata ang kriminal na nahuli dahil naglalakad sa kalsada ng walang t-shirt o yung mga nahuling umiinom sa kalsada (sori Gelo ang Cholo!) kaysa sa maparusahan ka dahil sa paglabag sa Intellectual Property Rights.

Because people who are proven to have stolenother people's ideas are guilty of three things:

1.) They crave for fame and glory that's why they stole that good idea. Palibhasa hindi sila pinupuri sa bahay or hindi sila binobola ng mga asawa o gelpren o boypren o nanay o tatay nila kaya they wanted the 10 seconds of fame. So in short depressed sila at hayok sila sa atensyon. Kawawa naman.

2.) Kung may pera man involved (which is MOST unlikely, especially in a country such as the Philippines where ideas aren't usually met with huge paychecks. Trust me; take the penniless Palanca Award Winning Writers or the moneyless advertisers, for example), nabuking rin sa buong mundo na magnanakaw sila. At sa public na hindi nakakaintindi ng value ng idea na yon na ninakaw nila, mas okay pa yata kung cellphone ang ninakaw kaysa sa idea.

3.) at aing pinakaimportante sa lahat, inamin rin nila sa buong mundo na TANGA sila. dahil hindi sila makaisip ng ganoon.

So ayan. Ang thesis ko sa pinakatangang krimen sa mundo. wehehehehe Ü

PUTANGINA!!! ANG HIRAP MAGSULAT!!!

2006-10-22T04:24:00.001+08:00

Promise...

ang hirap magsulat.

Huwag kayong magpapaniwala sa mga taong magsasabi otherwise.

Mahirap magsulat.

Dahil sa pagsusulat, gumagawa ka ng kaluluwa.

Sa bawa't sanaysay, tula, dula, katha, at vandal sa pader na ginagawa mo, nagbibigay ka ng buhay.

Nagsasagawa ka ng isang kaisipan at ng isang kaluluwa na magdedefine sa isang karakter.

Sa sinusulat mo, masasabi ng mambabasa ang iniisip ng kaluluwa na ginawa mo. Ang paninindigan niya, ang saloobin niya, ang gusto at ayaw niya, ang paniniwala niya, ang mga pangarap at mithiin niya.

Makikita ng mambabasa kung ano ang pag-ibig para sa kaluluwa na ginawa mo.

Kapag nagsusulat ka, nagiging Diyos ka.

at hindi madali maging Diyos.

********************************

Writing is an art daw.

Kamakailan lamang ay napadaan ako sa Megamall kung saan may art exhibit na ginagawa. Tiningnan ko ang mga paintings.

Maganda.

May symmetry.

Nakakaailw ang kulay.

Pero hindi ko lubusang maintindihan.

dito ko naisip; hindi kaya na kaya ako hindi makagawa ng matitinong imahe sa mga sinusulat ko ay dahil wala akong mata para makakita ng imahe?

Art isn't learned.

I can't learn art; I can learn how to appreciate it. I can learn how to define and determine it. But I cannot learn it.

One doesn't learn writing.

One doesn't learn on how to be a God.

kaunaunahang FILM script na ginawa ko in less than a day

2006-10-22T03:59:00.000+08:00

ngayon ko nalaman ang ibig sabihin ng fastfood.

isang pagkaing ginawa in a nick's time na sinakripisyo ang substance just to say may nagawa.

CALL OF THE DAY

Rafael LM Fenix

Scene 1

Lights fade in. A girl in her 20’s is seated in front of a desk, wearing an office attire. She is poised and steady

VOICE-OVER:

Tell me something about yourself.

ELISA:

I’m Elisa Marie Garcia. I’m twenty-two years old. I just graduated from St. Paul University in Quezon City, Major in Business Management. I’m originally from Marinduque, but right now I’m staying at a dorm near my school, or my former school, (chuckles) and… I’m single! (laughs) What else… I like to sing, to read and to draw sketches during my leisure time. And… basically that’s it… (bites her lip)

VOICE-OVER:

So why did you apply here at E-TelcoWorld?

ELISA:

Well, a… friend of mine referred me here. He’s one of the line supervisors. His name is Anderson Sandoval. Basically right now I’m looking for a job which could enhance my interpersonal skills, and of course to provide me with, not really huge, but at least sustainable income, and the call center industry right now is such a booming business. So I decided to try it out here.

VOICE-OVER:

This is your first job?

ELISA:

Yes sir.

VOICE-OVER:

How much is your expected salary?

ELISA:

I was told that the basic here for a representative was sixteen thousand, so I was hoping more or less in that bracket.

VOICE-OVER:

Okay so Elisa, please got to the 12th floor, where you will look for Edong for the contract signing and then just wait for further instructions. (shakes hand)

ELISA:

Thank you sir.

Lights fade out and music plays and credits roll in.

Scene 2

Lights fade in.

Scene begins inside a call center office. Several bays with a computer on each station and several reps are taking in calls in their stations.

Camera shifts to another angle and pans to the left as one by one call center agents are shown as they take in calls.

MARIE:

Thank you for calling Card Collect! This is Marie! And how may I provide you with excellent customer care for today? Uh-huh? Oh, thank you so much for selecting Card Collect! Yes ma’am! We would be glad to sign you up!

MARC:

And Mr. Axle, can I have your account number? Thank you. Security reasons, please verify to me your date of birth? Thank you. Now, sir, currently you still have a remaining $218 allowance on your account.

ELLEN:

Yes, ma’am. Your credit history shows an outstanding balance of six hundred forty-eight dollars and thirty six cents. Now we can schedule a payment for you for fifty dollars by next Friday. Can you make that payment by next Friday Ms. Welsch?

Camera now focuses on a workstation, which is elevated from all the other workstations on the bay. On the workstation is a computer with a flat-screen monitor, some piled papers, and a Card Collect coffee mug used as pen holder. There are two picture frames on the desk: one has a graduation picture of a young man, in black toga, and another is a picture of that same person as a call center agent wearing a headset, taking in calls.

Scene blurs as a Starbucks coffee mug is placed on top of the desk and somebody sits on the chair, blocking the camera view. Camera focus now changes to close-up on Andy, the one who sat on the chair, the same person on the photographs earlier. Andy clicks on a button and his monitor flashes a chart.

ANDY:

Good job people! 9 subscribers for the first hour! Keep it coming! (takes a sip from his coffee mug. Punches another key in the computer, and another chart file opens.) Ellen! AHT is at 800 seconds! Lower it down! Take more calls!

ELLEN:

(covers the mouthpiece of her headset) Coach! She’s an old lady!

ANDY:

So?

ELLEN:

She doesn’t know why she has to pay and how she’s talking about her niece who likes to watch Sabrina the Teenage Witch!

ANDY:

Stop giving excuses! Finish that call and get more! (mutters under his breath) Good luck na lang sa’yo. (sits down and types in the computer.)

PA SYSTEM:

Attention, all supervisors and managers. We will have our performance update in exactly 3 minutes. Repeat: we will have our performance update at one o’clock Eastern Standard Time. Please get ready with your stats and proceed to the Conference Room. Thank you.

Scene 3

Camera now focused on a brown desk, with a woman in a blazer sitting behind it. Slowly the camera zooms out to show a white board with numbers and stats written and three men are standing behind her; two Caucasians and one Asian. Scene also shows in front of the desk people seated in chairs.

CARLA:

At present, E-TelcoWorld is at number two worldwide for the Card Collect Top Center report. Sales are at 129.87%, Quality is at 101.34%, and AHT is at 116.14%. Very good job to everyone for getting us up from Number 5 last month, but let’s not stop.

Camera shifts to behind Carla and showing the faces of the people seated on the chairs. Extreme close up to Andy, seated at the third row.

CARLA:

People, we have 6 business days to go before month ends. Let’s not stop and let’s go back to were we were few months back. We were number one for a whole straight year, and three months back we fell. But let’s get back up guys! This is a start! Let’s end each day our strongest, and let’s get that number one spot back! (room claps). Kudos to Alvin for hitting 300% for sales the past week! Awesome job! (people clap and person on Andy right side raises his hand and waves in a Miss Universe fashion) As well as Cindy for having the highest Quality! Each of her reps got perfect Quality scores! Thank you so much! (claps and girl on Andy’s left side smiles meekly.)

ANDY:

(in a whisper while Carla was still talking in front) Tang’na Cindy, you gotta help me. My team’s struggling right now.

CINDY:

Why me? Your quality is good. 104% o. You need help with sales. There’s Alvin. Ask help from him.

ANDY:

This guy? Eh illegal bumenta ito eh! Slammer!

ALVIN:

Pssst! Quiet ka bakla! Baka mabuking ako eh! (laughs) But seriously, it’s okay to misinform the client just so that they’d sign up, just as long as you don’t get monitored and you can protect yourself from customer complaints and chorvanels.

ANDY:

Oo naman. Lahat naman tayo dito marumi bumenta eh. But then again, you don’t abuse it. Eh ikaw lantaran yung panloloko mo eh.

ALVIN:

Hindi naman. It’s just that talagang stupid lang yung mga customer ko. Gullible. Madali mauto. Eh cheverlou ko ba kung ma-chenelin vargas yung credit ng mga chorva.

Camera now shifts to Carla.

CARLA:

So people! Are we going to end this day good?

EVERYONE:

(with fists clenched and arms up in the air) Yes!

CARLA:

Are we going to end this week good?

EVERYONE:

Yes!

CARLA:

Are we going to be number one again!

EVERYONE:

Yes! (Claps. Everyone stands up and leaves the room.)

ARNOLD:

Andy, Alvin, Kim, Rhea and Cindy, my office. Core Calibration. Now.

ANDY AND THE OTHERS:

Yes Mr. Alcantara.

Scene 4.

Camera focuses inside the manager’s office. A desk with a laptop with huge speakers, then shifts. The laptop and desk blurs out and the painting by the side slowly clears. It’s a picture of shapes, of cubes and triangles and circle, with symmetry and the entire motif is orange. At the side of the painting is the artist’s signature. What’s obvious about the signature is the letter “A” painting on the wall. Some papers are stacked on the desk. Arnold is seated behind his desk. The others are seated in front.

ARNOLD:

(to himself) Ang init dito a. Nagloloko aircon. (to others) Okay guys. We’re gonna monitor some of your agents because from what I’ve noticed, some of your reps are not upselling during balance inquiry calls. The only way for this office to hit the number one spot is to double our sales. (paper flies off and lands on the ground.) Uy shit certificate ko.

CINDY:

Certificate?

ARNOLD:

Recognition. When I got promoted to Manager. Pare pinirmahan ni John Isaac yan, CEO ng Card Collect.

RHEA:

Kaya ka pinadala sa US last week para kumuha ng certificate?

ARNOLD:

Not really. It was a management training. Isisnabay lang yan. ‘di ko pa nga napapa-frame eh itong certificate eh. Ayan o, pictue namin ng boss ng Card Collect. (shows picture frame, with Arnold shaking hands with a man with blonde hair) Andy by the way I interviewed your friend kanina a. Yung long hair.

ANDY:

Who? Elisa?

ARNOLD:

Yeah. Pasado pare.

ALVIN:

Pasado saan? Sa taste mo o sa interview?

ARNOLD:

Both. She’s hot. Plus she’s got great communication skills. Ayos yung chick mo Andy a. Where did you meet her?

ANDY:

Just around.

Camera pans to the right and scene changes to black and white. Elisa, walking in a school uniform, is a walking and a car pulls over. Elisa gets inside the car and the car speeds off.

ELISA:

Musta na?

ANDY:

Ayos lang. Ikaw?

ELISA:

Ayos lang din. Hectic schedule. Next week na finals eh. Kulang na allowance ko. Yung pinadala ni Mama for tuition lang nagkasya.

ANDY:

Ayos na ba one thousand?

ELISA:

Ha? Eh baka less than a week lang sa’kin yun. Ang gastos ng thesis eh.

ANDY:

Sa Thursday pa sweldo eh. Bigyan kita ng three thousand by then. Tatlong araw lang titiisin mo.

ELISA:

Eh di magkikita ulit tayo sa Thursday?

ANDY:

Syempre. Basta wag ka na sasama sa iba.

ELISA:

‘lang magagawa. Ikaw magpakain sa’kin.

Camera shows car speeding along a road in Sta. Mesa and takes a turn going inside a motel.
Camera pans to the left and back to Arnold’s office.

ALVIN:

Whooo! Just around just around ka dyan. Babaeng maganda hindi mo ikekemelin? Maniwala ako sa’yo?!

RHEA:

Wooshoo! Alvin selos ka lang eh!

ALVIN:

Oo nga eh. (Stands up and sits on Andy’s lap) Andy when are we gonna make kemeru ba?

RHEA:

Sister huwag ka na umasa! Wala kang matris! Sa may matris lang pumapatos si Andy!

ARNOLD:

Guys lower down your tagalong please. Just because I’m lenient doesn’t mean you guys can abuse it. (types in his laptop and faces the speakers towards the others) Get ready guys. Calibration starts now.

Camera revolves around Arnold’s office and the wall covers the view to pitch black. When view goes back it’s on the agent’s desk. Music playing in the background.

ANDREA:

Thank you for calling Card Collect! This is Andrea speaking! And how may I provide you with excellent customer care for today?

Camera revolves, simultaneously showing an agent on a call and Arnold’s office.

RHEA:

Good voice tone. Was able to build rapport with the customer. Was able to save a customer from canceling his account. I’ll give the rep a perfect 100%.

JIMMY:

Thank you so much for holding ma’am and I’m sorry that took so long. Now, I was able to pull up a copy of your payment history and it shows here ma’am that you sent us a check last Sept 24. Unfortunately the bill was due last Sept 19. So that’s why you got charged a late fee.

KIM:

Although the representative was very professional on the call flow and was able to make the customer understand why she was charged for a late fee, I’m deducting 5 points from his score form because he promised the customer that he’ll be back in a couple of minutes, but it took him as per our timer 3 minutes and 18 seconds. And minus 10 more points because he did not offer to upgrade the customer’s account, which is required as our sales practice. Final score is 85%.

MAXIE:

I’m so sorry ma’am, but under these circumstances we cannot issue any discount.

ANDY:

Minus 30 points from the score form. Credit was warranted because the customer did send her payment in, but we misplaced the payment on another account, so it was our fault that she got charged a late fee of $3. And as per guidelines if we upset a customer because of our mistake, we can even issue at least $20 discount to the customer’s bill. We lost a customer just because of $23 dollars. And the rep did not adhere to the hold time. Minus 5 points. Final score is 65%.

PATRICIA:

Thank you for calling Card Collect! This is Pat! And how may I help you? (Happy music changes and extreme close up on Pat’s face, whose eyes widen.) I’m sorry, sir, I lost you there… What?! Where?!!

Camera shifts and shows Arnold’s office door swings open and everyone runs towards her.

ARNOLD:

Patricia! Keep the customer on the line! Relax! Don’t panic! (to Kim) Call tech support. Place a tracker on that her activity! I want to know where that call is coming from. Now!

Camera moves as Arnold and Andy walk toward Pat and the others enter their own respective bays.

ALVIN:

Concentrate people! Relax! Don’t panic! Mind your own calls and nothing else within the office!

RHEA:

Focus people! Focus! Sit down and mind your own business! You guys are still being monitored!

KIM:

Hello Central Operations? Kim here from System Arnold, E-TelcoWorld Manila Center. We have a situation…

Andy and Arnold reach Patricia who was breathing heavily. Andy takes the headset from Patricia and she stands up and cries. Arnold tries to comfort her and plugs in another headset to hear the conversation.

ANDY:

Hello? This is Anderson, Pat’s boss. Who is this?

CALLER:

Ahhh, Anderson… so your girl couldn’t handle the news eh? Well, I’ll tell you: There is a bomb inside your building. I will remote detonate it if you guys don’t listen carefully to my instructions.

ANDY:

What do you want?

CALLER:

I want 300 million dollars. No discounts.

ANDY:

And how do we setup the payment?

CALLER:

(laughs) You sound like a professional. At least I’m not dealing I want 120 million dollars transferred from Mr. Eugene Heidenreich’s personal account from Bank of America to the Swiss Bank account number 84479444167282775.

ARNOLD:

Tangina. He knows Eugene Heidenreich. Vice-President of Card Collect.

ANDY:

Got it. What else?

CALLER:

I want $100 million dollars to be transferred to the Republic of Macedonian State Bank account number 02394845455-20395843. Whatever bank that comes from, I don’t care. $80 million dollars will be stocked inside a bag and will be left with the bartender at the Costa del Fuego bar in Columbia. Tell your delivery boy to tell the bartender “I want to teach you how to make a good whiskey.” And just leave it there and walk out. This way none of your CIA or FBI people will be able to do anything but watch as my men pick up the money, since they’d be killed three seconds flat if anybody knew that American men are inside Columbian territory.

ANDY:

How long do we have before we can do all this?

CALLER:

23 hours and 49 minutes. Timer started when you girl got the call.

ANDY:

How do we know you’re not bluffing?

CALLER:

Turn on the TV. We just killed your big boss.

ALVIN:

Boss! Fox News and CNN are calling! They said that John Isaac died in a car accident!

CALLER:

See? I told you. If you still don’t believe me then here’s a tip: there’s a gun hidden inside the air-conditioning vent by the painting at the coffee lounge. (clicking sound and then busy signal.)

Camera shifts to extreme close up on Arnold, then rotates. Arnold is looking at a painting hanging by the red wall. It’s a picture of someone’s face.

GREG:

Like it?

ARNOLD:

Yeah. Picasso style art. Look at the balance on the cheekbone. But I’m trying to understand why didn’t the artist do a semi-circle on the forehead and still insisted on a cube.

GREG:

Hey, I’m no artist. I just know that they bought that from someone selling it in the streets and decided to put that in this room. Come, I’d like to introduce to you to some folks.

Camera looks upward and shows an aircon vent there.

KIM:

Headquarters got the call recorded boss. They’re now gonna run a trace to see who called.

ARNOLD:

I want this to be confidential guys. Andy you come with me and we’re gonna coordinate with Headquarters. Pat you take a breather first and log in when you’re okay already.

Scene 5

Inside Arnold’s office. Arnold, Andy, Carla and the three men are all inside.

ARNOLD:

(facing a speakerphone) Those were the callers demands. He says we have less than 24 hours to meet them.

VOICE ON PHONE (MALE):

We just did a full security search on all aircon vents on the lounge. No gun was found there. We even sent two people up just to be sure. Nothing.

VOICE ON PHONE 2 (FEMALE):

We just also got word from the police. The call was traced to a payphone nearby the car accident site. Plus the car accident didn’t show any signs of foul play. A drunk truck driver smashed onto Mr. Isaac’s limousine.

CARLA:

So what’s our next course of action?

VOICE ON PHONE (MALE):

We will suspend operations for the next 36 hours as a sign of mourning and until executive office determines who will replace Mr. Isaac as CEO. But we will do this not as a security breach but because we will honor the memory of out befallen leader.

VOICE ON PHONE 2 (FEMALE):

As for the call, we will get surveillance tapes from nearby establishments and see if we can get an identity of the caller. This should help us in knowing who this caller was. Ms. Encarnacion, as head of that vendor location in Manila, business will be as usual and we will notify you of any corporate changes as soon as all this has cleared.

CARLA:

I agree. So at present we will treat this as just a prank call and no further action will be taken. Manila site, signing out. (punches a button) well, that gave us quite a scare, didn’t it?

ANDY:

Tell me about it. I really thought he was bluffing, but when he claimed that it was his work on what happened with Mr. Isaac…

CARLA:

Well, we all got carried away. But I’m proud of you that you handled everything coolly, Andy. Good job. So gentlemen, get back to work.

Lights fade out.

Lights fade in and Andy, wearing a different suit, opens the door and goes inside the office. The reps are taking in calls but there are no supervisors on the floor. He walks to his station, leaves his things, and passes by the conference room. He sees everybody inside, so he steps in.

CARLA:

Andy! Good thing you’re here. Remember yesterday’s call?

Camera shows monitor, showing a news report, with headline: 3 KILLED AS BOMB EXPLODES INSIDE CARD COLLECT BUILDING

MAN #1 BESIDE CARLA:

It was true. There was a bomb there.

KIM:

(Enters the room) Guys! He’s calling again. The guy yesterday. The guy who did that (points on the monitor). He’s back.

TO BE CONTINUED

something I wrote for Kat Encarnacion

2006-10-20T22:57:00.000+08:00

THE DAY THAT CAME UPON HIM

Finally the day came – he knew long before that that day would arrive. He had hoped that it would not be anytime soon, although even ten years were too fast for him. He imagined what it would be like if that day was to come knocking on his door; would he see it from afar on its way towards his home to give him ample time to prepare at least, or would it surprise it just when he was taking a relaxing nap. He never knew. But now he did.

He had been waiting for her for almost half an hour when she arrived. The delay wasn’t so bad – he arrived fifteen minutes earlier than the time they agreed upon so it meant that she was only fifteen minutes late. He saw her walk into the bookstore, and since he was in no mood to be coy he immediately walked up towards her. Offering to take her bag he tried to welcome her with a little hug, or to put her arm around her at least, but the moment she gave her bag to him she started walking towards the exit.

“Let’s go,” she said.

It had been like this the past days. At work whenever he tried to show any gesture of sweetness she would either get irritated or not respond at all. At home when he texted her, she barely replied. Then after many attempts he finally found out that whenever he sent a joke she would actually respond; then after a couple of messages she would say goodbye and not text for how long he never knew.

When she agreed to watch a movie with him at Megamall he became hopeful again. Finally she said yes, he thought. For the first time in his life he felt nervous before going on a date. So nervous that he even bought a new red shirt and perfume just so she wouldn’t have anything to say about his outfit or what he smelled like.

When they got out of the bookstore and headed for the escalator, she paused for a while and asked for her bag. Rummaging through her things she got her cellphone and zipped the bag and started walking again.

“Who are you texting?” he asked, even if he already knew the answer.

“Ryan.” she answered monotonously. She didn’t even bother to look at anywhere else when she answered. she was too engrossed texting as she walked along. Seconds later still while texting he noticed that she was starting to smile.

He knew from the very beginning that she had a boyfriend. She and that Ryan guy had been going on for years already before he met her at the office. It just so happened that when she and Ryan encountered a few roadblocks on their relationship, he was there to rescue her. But now that she was able to fix things between her and her boyfriend, he would soon have to move out.

While going up the escalator and just as she stopped texting (she probably had sent her usual “Did u hav ur dinner n? Lov u babe! Il txt u l8r k?” message to Ryan), he tried opening a conversation with her. While talking she gave him a certain look, grinned and said, “Bata ka pa talaga. You act like a child.”

He was a kid – maybe too young for her. He was still 19 while she was already in her mid-20’s. He was just a kid and that’s why he acted like one and talked like one. She told him before when they were just starting to get to know each other that “for a person your age, you’re so mature.” Nowadays she never says anything like that anymore. At the back of his mind he knew that the though he can be childlike in some ways, the way he spoke and the way he acted was still far more mature than guys his age, maybe even guys her age. And he was childlike, not childish, unlike some yuppies he knew.

When they got to the third floor where the cinemas were located she started texting again. He asked her what movie she wanted to watch and she just nodded towards the poster of an action flick. A few minutes later after he bought tickets he went back to her and just then they ran into some friends of hers. Immediately she kept her cellphone and started giggling and chatting with them. She seemed so enthusiastic when she met those other people and completely ignored the whole world, even her cellphone. Even him. After a few minutes of talking she finally said goodbye. “Sige na, mauuna na ako. Manonood pa ako ng movie nitong ka-opisina ko eh.” With an introduction like that he decided to approach her friends and introduce himself cordially.

Later while walking towards Cinema 9 where they were supposed to watch the film he started asking about her friends.

“Barkada?”

A nod.

“College?”

“Yup.” she answered, then she pulled the cellphone off her pocket and checked if there were any messages.

“You haven’t seen each other for a long time now?”

“No! We see each other at least once a week. Gina, the tall one, was with me here the other day and Macky, the short one, went shopping with me last week.”

“Macky? You mean the girl in blue?”

“Yeah. Why? You like her?” For the first time that day she looked at him in the eye.

“Huh?!”

“You like her? She’s pretty naman eh. If you want I can give you her number.”

“Wha-? No! No I don’t want her number!”

“It’s ok if you like her,” she said. “I mean, I don’t care. I got a boyfriend, you know.”

That phrase stumped him. She’s got a boyfriend, you know, he thought to himself. She’s got a boyfriend so she couldn’t care less. She’s got a boyfriend that’s why it’s ok if he sees other girls. He is not a loss.

So they entered the cinema and watched silently in the darkness. Every two minutes or so she would pull her cellphone up, and would text Ryan or whoever would text her. Just to get her to notice him he pulled his phone up and miscalled her; she responded by saying, “Epal. Papansin.” when she read his name on the miscalled list.

“Just wanted your attention…” he murmured.

“Don’t try that drama bit with me,” she snapped.

He let out a huge sigh. Things weren’t like that when they started out as friends. She used to be so talkative and she always laughed at his jokes, no matter how corny he was. She used to be amazed with his ideas and his stories and with everything there was in him – he felt the same way towards her. When he called her up and said that he was starting to have feelings towards her, she couldn’t hide the joy in her voice. Although she did tell him that she loved her boyfriend very much and there was no assurance that she would be able to reciprocate his affections, he said it was ok. She didn’t need to return the favor – just accept it. It was ok with him.

It was ok with him. Was. But now he’s not so sure. Because she was not accepting the love he is showing her – she was rejecting it. And what’s worse was he was in no position to demand. After all, he was just an officemate.

Suddenly she stood up. “Excuse me,” she told him, “Ryan is calling. I have to go outside.” So he hoisted himself from his seat and let her pass. Then, as she left him in the darkness of the movie house, he got the instinct to rummage through her things, got a pen and a piece of paper, and started writing.

It took her around ten minutes before she got back. This time he did not stand up to let her through – he just allowed her to pass in front of him. And in silence they watched – or at least he did while she continued texting – the remainder of the movie.

She never allowed him to take her home. Whenever they came from work or a night out, she would only allow him to hail a cab for her and then it’s goodbye. Once she allowed him to ride in the cab up to a certain point where she would be safe enough and he got off. But today it was only up to the cab station and there they parted ways – her going home up to the high mountains of Antipolo while he went down to the smoggy streets of Quezon City.

Just as she rode the cab he handed to her a piece of paper. “Read it when you get home,” he said, and there he shut the door and waved goodbye. She didn’t hear it, but from his lips she knew that he gave an “I love you”, just as he did everyday before they parted ways. She also knew that he noted at the back of his mind or in his cellphone the license plate of the cab, just in case something happened.

In the cab she opened the paper, and there was a letter he wrote while he was in the cinema and she was outside talking with Ryan. He said there that things were no longer the same between them. She no longer laughed with him or shared any stories with him nor did she call him every morning or send him a goodnight text. He said there that she was either too tired or in a hurry for him.

Also in that letter he apologized. He apologized for being too young for her and for being too passionate about life and too idealistic. He apologized for not having a car to drive her home and for being too nosy about stuff he shouldn’t have bothered to know about her. He apologized for not coming in her life earlier than her boyfriend – otherwise it would have been him in his place. For being jealous of the attention she gave to other people. And he apologized for tearing a piece of paper in her notebook to write her a letter while waiting for her.

But in that letter he also said that he would never leave her, that he loved her still, and he didn’t care whether she showed affection towards him or not. He said that he knew this day, the day when he would begin to feel neglected and when he would be hungry for her love, would come. He had long prepared for this day, and now he’s ready to tell her that he will stay by her side, maybe not as a significant other but maybe just someone she could run to when she needs someone. He still wanted to ask her out next time, but only as a friend. He said that Ryan was a lucky, lucky bastard, and if ever she and Ryan do get married, he would be there at the church to shake the man’s hand. He said in that letter that he’s not letting go; he’s just accepting reality and he doesn’t care whether he goes single for life. He will commit himself to her even if she’s with somebody else. He said in the letter that he knew that that commitment was stupid, and he may give up soon, but he said he’d rather try than not do anything at all. He said in the letter that he loved her so much, and she’s the only one who has made him once in his life happy.

And finally, he said in the letter that one day, one day in the future, he’d get to make her happy. And when he does, he’d die a happy man for her.

She closed the letter and slid it in her bag. She thought of the days she always spent with him and told herself that she was lucky to have someone like him. She asked herself why had he not come earlier. She wondered what would it have been like to allow herself to be hugged by him, to be kissed by him. She wondered how his eyes would look if she said I love you to him. In the cab she prayed to herself that hopefully one day he’d understand that she did not want to be cold to him – she never wanted to be rude to him or anything. She just wanted him to go away naturally and look for another person to make him feel they way he makes her feel.

#

for Ivy Escalona

2006-10-20T22:32:00.000+08:00

this was written for an English assignment...

MS. MIKKI

These late office hours really get to me sometimes. I usually don’t mind working until midnight here in the office, tonight is just one of those nights where my mind isn’t focused. It was probably all the sweat and hunger that kept me alive the previous nights; despite my huge built and usually scruffy appearance, I really can never relax without taking my cold shower and eating my scrumptious dinner. But tonight, when the rain just would not stop tormenting the glass window and the flood would not subside, it seems that the both of us will be spending the night here.
Relax; don’t worry. It’s not like me to have sex with girls who don’t want to. So unless you’re gonna feel kinky tonight and invite me for a little activity that would keep our bodies warm in this cold night, I wouldn’t lay my skin on yours.
How old are you again? And is this your first job? What kind of writer are you, the late-bloomer-who-never-knew-that-she-could-write-until-some-bloke-picked-up-her-essay-
and-said-“Man,-this-thing-kicks-ass!”? Or the all-so-talented-individual-that-was-born-in-a-family-of-writers-and-it-just-naturaly-runs-in-
the-blood type? Seriously? I’m a little bit of both; I grew up in a family of writers. Almost all my relatives see their bylines in newspapers and magazines – the rest have already released their books. But I never really imagined that I would be working for a news organization.
I met one of the coolest English teachers during my senior high school stint. It was that same teacher who inspired me to take writing seriously; she was the adviser of the school paper while I was a reporter. “Keep the flare alive” was the greatest advice anyone gave me. Her name was Ma. Mikaela Mariella. Yes the name sounds weird, that’s why she wanted to be called Ms. Mikki.
It was around 10 years ago. I was your typical high school popular guy that time. It was also raining then, a rainy evening of July 3rd. at 8:00pm I was still in school, unable to go home because of the usual flood. The streets of Manila were not as good back then as it is now. Well, it was that evening when she offered me a ride home. I’ve been studying in that school for four years already, but it was the first time I saw her. Tired, hungry, wet and eager to get home, I accepted the ride.
Ms. Mikki was fresh from college when she began teaching in our school. She handled English for freshmen. During the ride home, we talked as if we had known each other for the longest time. The words putangina and fuck came in every sentence. When she asked where I lived it was the only time that we discovered that we lived in the same street, hence we made a pact to always go home together. It was a two-way deal; me getting a car ride for a cheaper price if not for free (she never wanted to charge me for the rides, but I always insisted) and her getting a companion, bodyguard and baggage lifter.
Needless to say we got really close. I became the editor of the school paper, and she became the adviser. So immediately, with the school’s consent, became a tandem.Ms. Mikki and I went to school together, ate lunch together, went home together. Both of us had other sets of friends, but Ms. Mikki and I were different. “We were like peas and carrots,” as Forrest Gump once said.
She told me that I will have my place in the future in writing. “It’s not gonna be easy; writers are not supposed to live saintly lives,” she said. “But keep the flare alive. It’s that burning passion for a byline that will keep you going and will guide you through the darkest of times.”
But there was this one time that things took a different turn. I was home alone one night when she came over. She was sobbing, and when I asked what was wrong she said she was just feeling so lonely and asked if she could spend the night there. For the rest of the night I was just there, lying on the couch with her, holding her tight. Her eyes were closed but she wasn’t asleep; it was then when I realized that eyelids, too, can be cute. Sweet Ms. Mikki. I heard her murmur “don’t ever let go of me, Raf… please…” I don’t know what got into me that moment, but my response was to brush my lips softly against hers.
After that night things changed between us. I never took a ride home with her again; she never joined me for lunch again. We only spoke with each other during meetings and layouting of the newspaper, and even that felt totally awkward. Kissing an older woman can give a high school boy complicated emotions, you know. And I can just imagine how much more complicated a matured woman’s emotions would be if she allowed a high school boy kiss her.
I saw her during my high school graduation. She simply gave me a letter, gave a cordial handshake, and left. The letter only had one phrase in it: “Keep the flare alive – between us.” I never saw Ms. Mikki again until college.
I pursued a creative writing degree when I was in college. I followed her advice: keep the flare alive, not only for writing but for her as well. I’ve had several relationships in college, but all of them were short-lived.
I was insecure when I was in college. All my friends and my classmates were achievers during their younger years, excelling academically and receiving various honors from different non-government organizations and private sectors, while the greatest achievement I had was becoming part of the high school news staff.
I was hungry for a byline when I was in college. I joined several publications but only a few of my works were being published. So I resorted to being a contributor to the mainstream media. After a couple of years of unpopularity, I was depressed. None of my contributions were being published. I wasn’t academically good either. I felt depressed.
But I wasn’t gonna stay down any longer. The first semester of my sophomore year, a professor asked us to write an article on writing. Yes, write about writing. So I did. The title of my article was “And To Those Who Write, I Salute You!” I wrote about how it feels like to be an unpopular and unrecognized writer. I wrote in there how hard it really is to keep the flare alive, but going on and letting it live within you.
My professor returned to me the article, but attached to it was an application form for the United Nations Icon in Literature Awards. He scribbled something in my article: “this is the best essay I’ve ever read in my life.” That gave me enough courage to fill in the application form and submit my work.
So I joined, and I won. Winning a UN award can sure change your life. I was invited to be a speaker for a seminar in UP Los Baños, and guess who attended that seminar? Ms. Mikki.
We joined each other after the seminar until that evening; we talked and talked and talked and talked like there was no tomorrow. It was like old times again; we had to catch up on the few years we never heard from one another. She was glad to know that I was doing well as a writer; I wasn’t glad to know that she just got off from a real bad relationship.
She noticed how much I changed over the years; “hindi na totoy” . She, on the other hand, didn’t change much. She had her hair cut into a chic style, but she still had the cutest eyelashes and it was only then when I realized that she had small dimples.
She joined me and my friends for a little shindig that night at a friends’ house. My friend spiced the punch pretty good; needless to say I got heavily drunk. So did she.
Both of us were walking (or is there another term for walking while drunk?) home when rained poured like hell again. We took refuge under a great acacia tree and we stayed there, drunk and wet. She smelled so fresh, even her breath smelled fresh with a twist of lime and alcohol in it. I was there, she was there. Looking in each others eyes made us continue what we started at my place. It wasn’t the first time I touched a woman, but there I realized that what they’ve been telling me was true; it’s a different sensation when the one you’re feeling is a person who is truly special. The rain ended quickly, but we spent the rest of the night together under that acacia tree.
I never saw her again since. I didn’t get her contact number or the address where she stayed or anything. It was a one-night stand, a moment too good to last.
I received word that she and the rest of her family had migrated to London, weeks after we last saw each other. So the first job I tried looking for after graduation was a job that would get me closest to Europe. Now you know why I’m working here in Reuters. I’ve been fighting for the request to be transferred to Reuters HQ in the United Kingdom for three years now; if this still doesn’t push through this year, I’m going to take a crash-course in caregiving and apply as a nurse there. Meanwhile, I’m really getting hungry here. I think a got a couple of instant mami noodles in my drawer. Why don’t you heat some water from the kitchen so we can eat a little something while you do the rest of the talking?
#

after breaking up stages

2006-10-19T15:41:00.000+08:00

Pagkatapos nyo mag-break, merong HEARTBROKEN stage. Yun yung every 5mins mo ichecheck cell mo kung nagtext siya. Yun yung dadaan ka sa harap ng bahay nilap pero ni hindi ka kakatok. Yun yung stage na ilalayo ng mga kaibigan mo lahat ng matatalas na bagay na pwede mo maabot kapag nasa videoke kayo at merong kumanta ng "IRIS" or ng "FOREVERMORE".
Tapos nun siguro kahit for 5 mins dadaan ka sa HATRED stage. Yun yung masasabi mo kahit isang beses lang na "TANGINA NYA!" with solemnity and sincerity. Timeframe nito is anytime from 5minutes to 5 lifetimes.
Afterwards merong GETTING OVER stage. Nagsisimula ito pag nagkaroon ka ng crush ulit, kahit sa TV lang. Marerealize mo na kaya ka pala pakiligin ng ibang tao. During this stage rin na merong kang RESBACK. Heto yung part na INTENTIONALLY mo ibe-break ang isang promise na tinago mo sincerely from him/her. Nag swear ka sa kanya na hindi hindi, AT HINDI mo gagawin yon, pero dahil break na kayo at gusto mo makadama ng sense of liberation at revenge ay gagawin mo yun for the heck of it. wehehehe

SEMBREAK

2006-10-19T15:35:00.000+08:00

"Dear Kim,
Kamusta ang bakasyon mo?
Heto pa rin nababato
Bad trip talaga 'tong Meralco
Bakit brownout pa rin dito..."
Kung hindi ninyo nakilala ang nasa ibabaw ay kanta yan na "sembreak" ng eraserheads. Probably the greatest band that there ever will be in the Philippine music history. They should include the Eraserheads in the current Music curriculum, and study the culture of Ely Buendia's songs.
Tapos na ang unang semester ko sa Adamson. Natapos na rin. Finally. Ayoko man aminin pero medyo na-stress rin ako going back and forth. School to bahay to work then to school. Ang 24 hours ng isang araw ko ay nahati sa tatlo since June. So medyo thankful ako na sembreak na.
Although Im not as stressed as I once was in UST. For some reason mas stressed ako noon. Siguro kasi talagang mas mahirap lang doon. Or dahil mas mabigat na load ko, worried pa ako sa trabaho at sa bahay. At least ngayon natutunan ko bumalanse.
Tumawag ako sa ABSCBN kanina regarding my application. I'm applying kasi for a position there. Naka-final interview na ako then they'll call me daw. 2weeks ala pa rin phone call. So tumawag ako. Ang excuse ko eh sabi ko nasira cellphone ko so I'm just calling to see if they have been calling me. Kunyari lang. SABI NILA NASA ACTIVE FILE DAW AKO. yeah, right. as if wala akong kakilalang nagtatrabaho sa HR Department ng mga iba't ibang opisina. Alam ko na yung spiel na yun. Superpanalotothemax.
Ganito ang sembreak. Tambay sa netshop para manood ng mga WWE videos (kahit na WWE Divas pinapanood ko. Di naman masama eh; mas malala pa nga itong katabi ko. akala ko masculado. Potah biglang napansin ko nung sumandal ako na ang sinu-surf eh MGA PUTANG INANG LALAKING NAKA PUTANG INANG BRIEF LANG AT MGA NAKA-BAKAT ANG TITE!!!)
Wala lang pong magawa. Isa lang po itong shoutout. Hindi worth basahin.
***

Wala na akong alam sa balita ngayon. Although once in two weeks lang ako bumibili ng dyaryo, same old stuff pa rin naman eh.
Si Gloria pa rin yung Presidente ng Pilipinas.
May nagwewelga pa rin tungkol sa nangyari noong 2004 elections at sa kumalat sa CD.
Nasa P50+ pa rin ang piso laban sa dolyar.
Hindi pa rin kilala ang mastermind sa mga nagpapatay kay Ninoy, kay Bobby Dacer, kay Nida Blanca.
Mayaman pa rin si Imelda.
Naaabsuwelto pa rin si Imelda sa korte.
si De Venecia pa rin ang Speaker of the House.
si Binay pa rin ang Mayor ng Makati.
Si Bayani Fernando pa rin ang nasa MMDA.
May langis pa rin sa Guimaras.
May puno at billboard pa rin na kakalat-kalat
Marami pa ring pirated CD ad DVD sa Quiapo at Greenhills
May pinatay.
May nirape.
May nasunugan.
May naaksidente.
Maganda pa rin si Bianca Gonzales.
Maganda pa rin si Toni Gonzaga.
May kumakalat pa rin na balita na bakla si Piolo Pascual.
Papalit-palit pa rin ng ka-love team si Angel Locsin; either si Oyo boy or si Richard Guitierrez or si Dennis Trillo.
Malupit pa rin sa chicks si Vic Sotto.
Getz nyo ko? What's so exciting about the world right now?
+++
Ayoko pag-usapan lablayp. Nakakasawang topic eh. Lab ko gelpren ko pero tapos na yata ako sa romantic stage.

quote from BRET "THE HITMAN" HART

2006-10-19T15:27:00.000+08:00

"I've wrestled for 23 years and it's not easy to go out there every night and describe yourself as the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be... The best chance you have if you wanna rise to the top is to give yourself up on loneliness. Fear nothing and work hard. Life is based less than you think on what you've learned, and much more than what you've learned and what you've had inside you right from the beginning."

- Bret "The Hitman" Hart

BASIC RULES ABOUT BLOGGING

2006-10-19T13:30:00.000+08:00

HONEST

THE

GODDAMN

GOODNESS

HINDI

AKO

MARUNONG

MAG-EDIT

BLOG

HINDI

AKO

MARUNONG

MAGLAGAY

MEMBERS

HINDI

AKO

MARUNONG

MAGDESIGN

LAYOUT

BACKGROUND

PLEASE

LANG

PENGENG

ASSISTANCE

LASON

2006-10-09T15:59:00.000+08:00

Mabait si Tatay. Masipag magtrabaho, malambing kay Nanay, mahilig magpatawa, responsable, at hindi sumisigaw. Tuwing pinagagalitan kami ni Nanay dahil may ginawa kaming mali, bigla kami kukunin ni Tatay tapos sasabihin, “Ikaw naman, bata lang naman sila eh…” tapos kikilitiin kami ni Ate Jenny.

Apat kaming nagsisiksikan sa isang barung-barong sa may Kalookan. Si Nanay ang nagaalaga sa amin ni Ate Jenny habang si Tatay ay umaalis para magtrabaho. Karpintero si Tatay sa isang pagawaan sa may Pandacan. Araw-araw umaalis si Tatay matapos uminom ng dalawang baso ng kape at kumain ng tatlong pan de sal. Babalik siya madilim na, kakain ng sandali, tapos tatabihan na niya kami sa pagtulog. Minsan nagigising ako tapos maririnig ko boses nilang dalawa ni Nanay, parang umuungol pero wala naman silang sinasabi kaya natutulog na lang ulit ako.

Si Ate Jenny nag-aaral malapit sa may munisipyo. Ako sa susunod na taon pa raw sabi ni Nanay. Lagi niyang sinasabi sa’min na mag-aral kami ng maigi dahil para lang daw sa kinabukasan namin nagtatrabaho ng maigi ang Tatay. Mahirap ang trabaho ni Tatay: walang tigil ang pagpupukpok at paglalagari at pagyayari niya ng mga upuan at lamesa sa pagawaan. Minsan kapag nakakadelihensya si Nanay sa mga kamag-anak ay dadalhan namin si Tatay ng paborito niyang kutsinta pangmeryenda. Ako paborito ko yung pansit tsaka yung manok na binibili ni Nanay sa palengke tuwing pasko o kaya pag bertdey ng isa sa amin.

Isang gabi hindi ko na naabutan umuwi si Tatay. Antagal naming naghintay ni Ate Jenny sa ilalim ng kulambo kaso wala si Tatay kaya sabi ni Nanay matulog na kami. Nagising ako dis-oras na ng gabi, narinig ko umiiyak si Nanay tapos nagsasalita si Tatay. Pinaalis daw silang mga karpintero sa pagawaan dahil magsasara na daw ito. Inisip ko siguro sa sobrang sipag ng mga karpintero doon gaya ni Tatay at ayaw pa nila umalis kahit kailangan na magsara ng pagawaan ngayong gabi at pinababalik na lang sila bukas.

Mula noon madalas hindi na lumalayo sa bahay si Tatay para magtrabaho. Minsan ay nakikita ko siya gumagawa ng mga upuan at lamesa at iba pang gamit pambahay ng mga kapitbahay namin sa labas ng pintuan. Tinanong ko kung bakit hindi na siya sa pagawaan nagyayari – sabi niya wala na daw siyang trabaho doon. Nawala na daw, parang bula. Inisip ko siguro may dumating na engkantada at minadyik yung pagawaan para mawala, gaya ng nakita ko sa Wansapanataym sa TV ng kapitbahay naming sila Jomjom.

Hindi na rin kami kumakain ng madalas mula noon. Tipid daw sabi ni Tatay, kasi wala na raw kaming pera. Madalas ang kinakain namin kanin at ang ulam naming ay asin. Kapag may nagpapagawa ng gamit kay Tatay o may nagpapalaba kay Nanay, ang ulam naming sitaw o kaya repolyo sa toyo. Hindi na kami nagrereklamo ni Ate kahit kumakalam ang sikmura namin kasi kapag sinasabi namin kay Nanay na gutom pa kami ay umiiyak ito.

Di na rin pumapasok sa skwelahan si Ate Jenny. Binenta na naming yung mga libro at gamit sa skwela sa mamang bote-dyaryo para may pangkain kami noong isang gabi. Wala rin naman daw pambaon si Ate Jenny, sabi ni Nanay. Madalas ay nasa may kalsada kami ni ate, humihingi ng pera sa mga dumaraan. Kinakarga ako ni Ate Jenny kasi daw mas malaki ang binibigay ng mga naka-kotse pag may batang kasama. Minsan habang nanlilimos kami ay nakita namin ang Tatay na umiinom mula sa maliit na baso sa bahay nila Ka Ambo. Nagagalit ang Nanay tuwing nalalaman niyang naglalasing ang Tatay. Inisip ko kasi siguro yung paglalasing niya ang dahilan ng ibang amoy ng hininga niya tuwing natutulog siya sa tabi namin.

Minsan biglang umuwi si Tatay at tinawag kaming tatlo sa loob ng bahay. Matatapos na raw ang paghihirap namin, sabi niya. Hindi na raw namin kailangan humingi ng limos. Hindi na raw kami magugutom.

Pinakita niya sa amin ang isang bote. Gamot daw yon, sabi niya. Binigay daw sa kanya ng albularyo. Pag ininom daw namin ito, matatapos na ang lahat. Ayaw na daw niya kami nakikitang naghihirap. Biglang umiyak ang Tatay. Mahal na mahal daw niya kami, sabi niya. Lahat daw ginawa niya para mabigyan kami ng kinabukasan. Galit daw sa kanya ang Diyos at ang mundo, kaya kami naghihirap. Ayaw niya daw kami madamay sa paghihirap na dapat siya lang ang nakakadama. Konti na lang daw, tapos magiging masaya na tayong lahat.

Naunang pinainom si Ate Jenny, tapos ako, tapos silang dalawa ni Nanay. Medyo mapait ang gamot, tapos mainit sa lalamunan. Ganoon daw yon, sabi ni Tatay. Inakap nya kaming lahat at humiga kami sa papag. Tulog na tayo, sabi niya. tanghali pa lang noon pero matapos uminom ng gamot ay bigla akong nahilo, parang naging malabo ang paningin ko at umikot ang mundo ko. Sabi ni Ate Jenny dumidilim daw ang paningin niya at masakit na masakit daw ang tiyan nya. Maya’t-maya ay naramdaman ko na rin ito. Niyakap kaming dalawa nina Nanay at Tatay habang umiiyak. Patawad daw, sabi ni Tatay. Patawad daw at mahal niya daw kami. Mahal na mahal. Nahihirapan ako huminga.

Humawak ako sa braso ng Tatay, tinitiis ang panandaliang sakit. Konti na lang, sabi ko sa sarili ko, konti na lang at hindi na ako magugutom. Ito ang sinabi ko sa sarili ko bago mawala ang aking gutom kasama ng aking buong kamalayan.

*Pasintabi kay Conrado de Quiros at sa pamilyang Cabini

#

HAIL MARY

2006-10-09T11:22:00.000+08:00

THE LONG WALK
Here's the deal: it's 7am, and I need to get some medical forms from PhilHealth so that I wouldn't have to pay for humongous hospital bills by the time my sister gives birth to my niece, and you have to wait for two hours until Megamall opens for you to get those frames you ordered. So come with me to PhilHealth while I get those stuff and I'll accompany you for the remaining hours until Megamall opens. That way we escape hours of boredom and we have a nice excuse why we just wanted to spend time with each other, even if we just met two days ago.

Going to the health office was not a problem; the cab driver was all to glad to take us to a place where there's no traffic going there, and was even more glad that we overpaid him by 20 pesos. And in an hour's time I was done with my paperwork. So where do we spend the next hour while we wait until Megamall opens?

Going to the health office was one thing: going to Megamall from the health office was another thing. Some gigantic delivery truck made a wrong turn and is now stuck, blocking more than half of the avenue. Cab drivers aren't going to take us anywhere and all jeepneys are taking a u-turn or are too cramped anyway. I forgot who suggested that we walk all the way to Megamall, but that was how we killed the next hour, by walking a few kilometers to Megamall. Not bad for a first date.

THE BUS
So we boarded the green G-Liner from Ortigas on the way to UST. Luckily the bus wasn’t crowded so we found ourselves two comfortable seats without leaving each other’s company. We just got off our night shift call center work and we were up all night so no one can blame us if we didn’t look as fresh as everybody on board that morning. After paying for the tickets I asked if you were alright. In your angelic voice you said you were, even if your eyes screamed sleep underneath your mascara. I never liked girls with mascara, but yours seemed alright. I told you to lean back and rest for a while, since the traffic isn’t gonna bring us to school soon. With your eyes closed you said yes to whatever I was saying, and four seconds later your breathing became heavy. Just maybe two notches below the snoring level. I put my arm around you to help you lay back on the seat. You responded by snuggling up and putting your head on my shoulder. Your head fit perfectly on it so I didn’t mind. I tried to look for a curtain to shield your eyes from the sunlight from the window found none. It was then I noticed how wonderful the effect was when the light touches your face. When streaks of yellow pass by your cheeks and your hair gets a shade of gold. I cannot remember whether there was music in the bus or if the cars in the traffic were honking or whether the teenagers behind us were laughing or crying. In that moment, everything was replaced by silence.

AT THE PARK
When you said that you wanted to go somewhere to drink after work, I didn’t expect you’d take me all the way to Antipolo. Moreover, after getting off the FX in Antipolo and asking directions for a drinking place from a tricycle driver, I didn’t imagine he’d take us to Hinulugang Taktak. Legend tells us about a pretty lass finding her beloved with another girl here, by the waterfalls, and all hell broke loose. The fact that before I started seeing you the girl I was with lived nearby made us both a little paranoid. It was there by the bridge when you said that you now understood why she (the girl I used to be with) didn’t want me to see other girls even if she was committed to somebody else already. It was then when you told me that you realized why she didn’t eat her lunch and just wrecked the styro of her chickenjoy after seeing us eat lunch together. And it was there where you said that you’re just thankful that you’ve found someone like me. We both realized that we were on the verge of getting over past experiences, and starting fresh together was something we’ve thanked God for. So we celebrated our togetherness that morning. By the bridge under the morning sun I first held you in my arms, and it was the waterfalls where we danced and I swept you off your feet – literally. We just danced by the waterfalls and laughed at what we were doing. We feasted upon alcohol and we hugged and cried and danced and laughed together all over the place. And just as we were about to leave, I saw a wrecked chickenjoy styro by the dumpster.

THE POOL
Okay, so I barely know how to swim. I never made one straight lap in my whole life. And you just had to show everyone that you took formal swimming lessons in Brunei or in Mindanao or in another one of those Muslim places you’ve been to, as you’ve been to a lot of them. Later as we leaned on the side of the pool you told me that you’ve been through a lot and that you just wanted all your troubles to go away. And you tried to do it, there and then. For twelve seconds at least you tried to make them go away. Then you surfaced, panting, gasping for air. That was the closest thing that I’ve seen you try to take your life away. And your troubles with you. I was caught up between two things that I wanted to do with you: either laugh at what you did until the sun sets or hit the back of your head with a water bottle first then laugh at what you did until the sun sets. But instead I just hugged you. I just hugged you and told you that shit happens, but everything will be alright. I just told you that you’re gonna get through it, and I’m not leaving you no matter what. I just told you that whether we end up together or not, I’m gonna stick by your side. And I just hugged you until the sun set.

OUTSIDE THE HOUSE
Telling me after you got off the phone with your mom that your ex waited for you several hours earlier at home on our first overnight at your friend’s place wasn’t encouraging at all. So during the time that we were waiting for the pizza delivery guy to come I decided to read a newspaper and leave you to entertain either the wall or the pretty vase from Middle East. When Aiza asked what else I ordered besides bacon cheeseburger, I said Hawaiian. When you asked me if I was angry, I looked at Ricky Lo’s picture. Then you pulled me away from the article about Bea Alonzo and took me to the porch outside. So this is how Cavite is on a weekend night, I said to myself. No tambays by the sari sari store, no one driving around with loudspeakers playing hiphop music, no kids cursing the hell out of each other over who’s taya. You opened the gate outside to see if anybody was walking around and it was then I told you that it was ok; that I was just playing. And you responded by giving me a kiss – a smack first, then you just let your lips stick to mine, then slowly sucked my tongue and let it play with yours. Just when I was getting the hang of it you suddenly pulled yourself away from me and said, “Now this is definitely going somewhere…”

TOWARDS NORTH

2006-10-09T11:20:00.000+08:00

Forget all the news about politics and the songs
of celebrities. Tonight the bus roars the sound
of a hard day’s work completed; the sigh of the worker
homeward bound. Northbound along EDSA the eyes
of the city have three colors – green, red and yellow.

Parang usok matapos humithit ng yosi nakita ko lumutang
palabas ng bintana ang mga katagang isinambulat ng mama
sa tapat: Sa Ngalan ng Ama, ng Anak at ng Espiritu Santo.
Aabot kaya sa langit ang dasal ni manong? Walang
signal ang cellphone sa Ayala Tunnel.

Tell me how prayers reach Heaven, because Mary, your name
was a prayer I used whisper before I slept, your voice
an infant’s good morning coo on a bright sunny morning. I miss
the mornings just as I miss your voice. Coming up to Buendia the stars
are so far and a blank look is what I see on the moon’s round face.

Dagisdis papasok sa bintana ng bus ang nagdala sa’yo
sa aking isip. Paakyat sa Guadalupe nakita ko ang templo
ng iyong mga alapaap, at sapul sa aking guni-guni nung sabihin mo
na huwag kitang iiwan. Ngayo’y isa akong bagamundong
estranghero at ika’y bitbit ng lawin na dumaglit sa iyo sa akin.

Did you know, Mary, that at night, the air smells like
freshly-made cocoa when you pass by Boni? Such a shame
that you don’t. You can hear the Ricoa Factory growl even with all this
roaring the bus engines do. But I guess you’d rather sleep on his passenger seat than on my shoulder while riding a bus towards north.

TULA PARA KAY TONI GONZAGA

2006-10-09T00:42:00.000+08:00

Kung minsa’y nasusulyapan ko siya:

Sa loob ng kahong itim, isang liwanag

na sumisinag sa loob ng tahanan

ng mga dwende’t dambuhala. Hiphop na

pananalita ang lumalabas

mula sa labing mabulaklak,

at boses na ‘sing lalim ng balon - parang alon

na umuugong mula sa loob ng kabibe

sa may dalampasigan, tunog na umaalingawngaw

mula sa kabundukan: malakas, nangingibabaw.

Isang gabi sa ilalim ng makulay na usok at putukan

ay nakita ko siya, nakatayo, nanonood,

minamasdan ang kalbong barakong humihiyaw sa

entablado. Sa kasiyahan ng mamamayan

siya ang tala; si Toni Gonzaga ang makulay na rosas

at ako ay isang bubuyog lamang, na gaya ng iba

ay nangangarap ring dumapo at makatikim

ng kanyang matamis na bulaklak.

Ilan na nga ba silang humalik sa labi mo, tumitig

sa iyong mga mata, ang iyong mga mata

na bulalakaw at ang mundo ay isa lamang maliit na bola

ng enerhiya, isang kometang naliligaw

sa gitna ng kalawakan, at ako ang batang naghahanap ng holen

na ilalaro sa palaruan ng kalawakan. Ako ang musmos

na estudyante na nagnanais na tumanda agad

upang mapangasawa ikaw,

ang guro kong maganda at mapagmahal. Turuan mo ako

kung paano humubog ng pigurin gaya ng porselana mong

mga balikat, hayaan mong umikot ang aking mundo

sa iyong kutis na ‘singliwanag ng araw, at pagbuhulin natin

ang ating mga dila na parang laso na nakatali sa mansanas

na alay ko sa’yo bilang bunga ng aking pag-ibig sa’yo.

WALA LANG!!! BWAHAHAHA!!! WELCOME TO MY BLOG!!! ÜÜÜ

2006-10-04T14:08:00.000+08:00

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